Half Marathon Race

So this is a long post, but I think it's worth the time to read.  Hopefully my narration is good.  

Since January I've been training for a race.  Just to get to race day I had to be commited, persevere and learn to endure.  When it comes to actual race day you have nothing left to do but try to follow your plans and finish the race.  I planned to start the race reserved, so that I wouldn't burn out halfway through the race.  I hoped to find my running partner who I had run half my long runs alongside.  I was prepared as I could be...

Race day:

I found my running partner before the race and even saw Candace Nordine (bonus!) before the race.  I told my running partner about how Candace ran most her runs alone and then was able to talk about why she was running.  

My running partner and I paced ourselves and for the first 6 miles we ran side by side.  We were right on target pace (given the less then ideal heat).  It was only mid 60s to low 70s, but it felt hot! The sun was bright.  I managed to spot Ben and Naomi at the two prearranged veiwing spots.  The first 5.5 miles were done, now for the uphill.  I told my running partner, this is a race, run your race and leave me behind if I'm slowing you down.  She eventually did and I kept her in sight most of the hill, but my breathing got too labored and I had to slow down.  I coached myself and knew the down hill is where I make up time.  I still had hope of finishing on target.  I kept telling myself "this is what you've worked/trained for, give it your all".  I pushed through the pain.

My all, I gave...  I was going slower then when I practiced the hill during my 10 and 12 mile runs.  But I still encouraged myself: just finish and give it your all.  The weather was to warm and humid to make for a great race.  I was getting discouraged, but it would soon be all down hill.  I remembered training on the route and that I really did do better after the hill.  


Suddenly when it was all downhill ahead... (between mile 10 and 11) my airway closed up.  I was in disbelief and shocked.  I hadn't felt this since running in high school for PE.  All this training and not one  asthma attack and now race day I have an asthma attack.  My airway felt as small as a pencil, I sounded as if I couldn't breath...  Slow deep breaths...  It was so strange.  I stayed calm pulled over (so to speak) and used my inhaler, 3 puffs (should have done one then waited to do more).  Then I walked for a while to test if it was working.  I had read that you wouldn't have another attack for 2 hours after your airway had closed... so after 5-10 mins of walking I thought I could run again.  I was misinformed.  Attack 2.  This time 2 puffs and I decided I'd probably have to walk the rest of the race or quit.  


I really wanted to just quit and blame asthma since my goal time wasn't attainable through walking.  Then I started thinking about the nearly 3 mile walk to the finish, how much longer it would take, and how I planned to make up time during the downhill.  I was discouraged and thinking negative unhelpful thoughts.  I then saw one of our trainers who was cheering (he'd finished) and he looked suprised at me walking.  My airway was a little constricted so I just said "asthma" and he said "do what you can".  Then I let my thoughs get worse... Attack 3.  2 more puffs.  I then realized that if I was to finish the race I could not let my thoughts bring on extra depression induced asthma attacks.  


It was then that I saw this as a trial/test.  Could I humble myself and walk to the finish when I had trained and was fully prepared for the race?  I had just listened to this song and needed to listen again...

Shall I take from your hand your blessing 

      yet not welcome any pain.

Shall I thank you for days of sunshine 

     yet grumble in days of rain (or hot/humid weather).

Shall I love you in times of plenty 

     and leave you in days of drought.

Shall I trust when I reap a harvest

     but when winter winds blow then doubt...

...Are you good only when I prosper?

And true only when I'm filled?

Are you King only when I'm carefree?

And God only when I'm well?

     You good when I'm poor and needy.

     You are true when I'm parched and dry.

     You still reign deepest valley.

     You're still God in the darkest night.

I prayed for the next while, God let me be satisfied.  Quite my restless heart.  I played the song (As long as you are Glorified) 2 or 3 more times and accepted a new goal.  Humbly finish the race by walking if I could.  My new thoughts were:

God chose this, for me.  God chose for my training and preparation to be answered with an asthma attack.  He chose this for me, what am I going to do?  Quit?  Grumble? Be angry? Or accept it and humbly finish my race with endurance? He knew that this is how it would go.  

I could not be more satisfied with the results of the race.  I failed to run the whole race, but I finished and learned to trust and accept God's plan for me.  I may have failed the race in my terms, but I eventually (through listening to scripture based worship) passed God's test for me.  I could not have done it on my own strength, I had to fight the rest of the time to control my thoughts.  

Instead of pride in my accomplishment, I see God's work in me.
Instead of panic, I trust God. 
Instead of turning to myself, I learned to rely and trust God to help me finish, and he did.
I also did not have the typical post race gloom, I'm still excited about what God did.  


Who knew I was really training for a test?  (I know that answer- God knew)

Proverbs 19:21  Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails

Post Race:

After the race I had a headache, was dizzy, felt nauseous, and sore.  Most from overuse of my inhaler. I also got a cold the next day and I had trouble sleeping (also caused slight over dose); however, my muscles weren't to sore and I had peace and closure from my training.  I was so excited to be done with my training and to have learned through my trial.  It's unexpected that I'm happy about not making my goal, but I am.

I even got to see myself right after the finish by watching a clip of Women's Full winner (time 1:39 of the clip) I walk past on left side of screen.